I hate reading.
My mother was a librarian and brought home numerous books for me...
Love, Crime, Mystery, and even self help books, but nothing caught my attention.
Recently I went to a Christian Bookshop and brought a book that one of my wonderful friends had recommended to me ('Captivating' by John & Stasi Eldredge.)
After the first chapter- I was addicted.
In 4 days of completing the book I was moved from tears to laughter, heartbreak to freedom!
I remember reading these words...
"I will find you. No matter how long it takes, no matter how far- I will find you."
I knew that it was God whispering to me.
He reminded me that no matter how far I ran from his love or avoided letting him heal my aching heart, he would do everything it took to rescue me and set my heart free!
The author Stasi writes:
"I have never allowed anyone the opportunity to fight for me. For this I am grieved. God asked me to repent of this and become vulnerable again. I stand now in this risky place of vulnerability, with a bleeding heart, waiting and praying. Everyday I must choose to lay down my defensiveness and allow the healing balm of Jesus to attend to my wound and allow him to be my God, my strength and my defender. He told me that I didn't need to defend myself anymore, that was his job, he is my defender. Would I let him be that for me? I said yes. There was a huge weight lifted off that I can't fully explain."
And that is exactly what I felt! I put my broken, bitter, defensive heart into the hands of Jesus and he walked with me through my restoration until that weight was lifted off me and I felt free to laugh, free to sing, free to be me again!
There is a lightness to my heart that is new. A deeper joy is residing there as I embrace ever more full the love of my God and what he speaks to me about myself and life. It is amazing. It is available. Keep pressing in. Keep asking God. And take your heart to Jesus. Ask him to show you your beauty. And then? Let him romance you.
I remember as a new Christian hearing the word 'Spiritual' being tossed around as a name tag, for those few 'charismatic' people in the church. People were labeled 'Spiritual' if they were disciplined in studying the bible, if they could pray in tongues, if they were confident to pray healing over the sick or speak a prophetic word over the church. Recently, I have started to understand the true meaning of the word. Yes! To be spiritual- is to be in a romance with God!
As children we were all obsessed with stories/movies like Cinderella, Snow White and Repunzel...and now as we grow older we look to boys in our lives to fill that longing and give us that 'fairy-tale' ending.
We are all waiting in our flowing gowns for that prince to come and carry us away on the back of his white horse. But we have forgotten one thing...
That prince, IS HERE! He is available now.
"Jesus knocks through our loneliness. He knocks through our sorrows. He knocks through the events that happened to us throughout our lives- a betrayl, a rejection, a word spoken, a relationship lost. He knocks through many things, waiting for us to give him permission to rescue us..."
What a gentleman Jesus is! HE WAITS! He waits patiently for US to lean out of our secure towers and lower our hair over the balcony to him! He calls us to a life of romance... He calls us to unveil the beauty we have hidden inside.
"Jesus is extending his hand to you. He is inviting you to dance with him. He asks, "May I have this dance...." every day of your life. His gaze is fixed on you. He is captivated by your beauty. He is smiling. He cares nothing of the opinion of others. He is standing. He will lead. But, he waits for your response..."
I don't know about you, but after knowing all of this,
I am captivated by Jesus.
He didn't push his way into my heart, or pressure me to LOVE him, but he extended his hand and asked me to dance and journey through life with him. Because of this, I am new. I have a deep desire to let the radiant love of Christ and beauty of Jesus shine forth from my countenance, so that when I walk into a room people become captivated by the LOVE of Jesus that shines all the way from my heart!
He romanced me.
I am forever captivated.